Cana

Cana ... 2009

To die...

To die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.

(Walt Whitman)

A few years ago my little cat’s kidneys were failing and she was nearing death. Though she was very weak, hardly able to move, she would make her way outside and find a spot where the soil was bare, not on the grass, lying there very still and quiet, all alone.

A couple of times I brought her back inside thinking she would be more comfortable but she made her way outside. She did not want attention, to be petted or held by me or anyone, neither eating nor drinking, she had turned away from life. Just her and the bare earth, so calm and dignified. The vet said she would have to be euthanised as otherwise, as her kidneys shut down completely, she would come to have seizures and be in pain.

But maybe I could have left her there. She knew what was best. She may not have known in the human sense THAT she was about to die but she knew HOW to die.

That little cat was wise beyond my present wisdom.

In My Heart

Radiance ... 2009

How is it I can love You
within me,
yet see You from afar?

How is it I embrace You
within myself,
yet see you spread across the heavens?

You know. You alone.
You, who made this mystery,
You who shine
like the sun in my breast,
You who shine
in my material heart,
immaterially.

Symeon the New Theologian (949 - 1032)